How do I overcome the problem I have with the company dress code?

Question

I have been working at the same place for almost 1 year now. I am working as a software programmer, I am the only female programmer on the team. When I started, I was told that as long as the team looks neat and tidy there isn't a formal dress code since we never see clients.

Fast forward to last month. The CEO's sister-in-law was placed in charge of the dress code (she is also the HR). She is a woman who wears 4 inch (or higher) stiletto's, skirts and basically business formal to work. Actually, now that I think about it, I've never seen her wear any shoes other than stiletto's. A few day's later I receive an email with the Ladies Dress Code. Since I am one of the ladies I now need to obide by the dress code. This includes the following:

1) Always wear heels 2 inches or higher.
2) Jeans may only be worn on Friday's, black or grey slacks or knee-length skirts to be worn during the week.
3) Shirts must be collared with buttons and in one of the company colours
4) No more than 1 piercing per ear. No other piercings or tattoo's may be visable.
5) Always wear make-up

Then the rest are just standard Dress Code requirements that are common sense. I completely understand the dress code except for 1 item... Always wear heels.

My reasons:
1) I don't own many heeled shoes, and those I do own are for formal events
2) I disagree with wearing heels full day to work for health reasons - I've read wearing heels all day every day can be really bad for a woman's back and legs.
3) I'm a tomboy, always was one, always will be one. I have spent 5 years trying to be seen as a serious programmer who is able to connect with male colleagues easily, not a delicate lady, and I see heels as part of the girly-girl attire. Men definitely treat women differently when they are dressed in a feminine manner.
4) I don't EVER see clients and I rarely see anybody outside the company either.

As for the men on my team, they don't need to abide to the male dress code of the company, they only need to keep looking "Neat and Tidy".

All the above points I have pointed out to the lady in charge of the dress code. Her response was "If the other ladies see you wearing flat shoes then they'll come to me and say "Why doesn't the dress code apply to Lilith?" and what should I tell them? If we allow you to wear flat shoes we have to allow everyone to do it and we cannot have the ladies who see clients not looking their best."

Because of this, I feel as though I am being singled out in the programming team and being forced to conform to something that nobody else on the team has to conform to. This (and other incidents over the past month) make me feel as though the HR has a little project going called "Turn Lilith into a Girly-Girl".

What she doesn't understand is that everytime I wear a pair of heels to work I feel as though a piece of my soul is being stripped away, because my entire life I have avoided heels like the plague. The problem is that I love my current job just as much as I hate wearing heels.

I brought this up with the team leader, he said I must just live with it because he knows the HR very well and there is no way to change her mind once she has decided on something.

Therefore, I don't want to leave this company. I don't want to wear heels. I cannot change the HR's mind and the CEO will take his Sister-In-Law's side. All the other ladies are extremely feminine and the men just don't get why I have a problem with it.

The best solution I have is to overcome this internal struggle, but I have no idea how. Any idea's on how to do this?

Or any idea's on what else I can do to change the situation?

Answer 1

Perhaps talk to your primary care physician and ask if they will examine your feet and balance and see if they will write a note that you excuses you from the heel requirement.



I suggest to keep a pair of heels at your desk and come to work in normal shoes and change when you get there.

Answer 2

I do agree with the other person. Keep a pair of heels with you in case a customer is there. But, I have a definite stance on this. You do not need to worry about her worries that if she makes an exception of you, then it will cause her a problem with other people. That is HER problem. If men are not required to wear heels, or dresses (lol), then you cannot be made to do so. Of course, the part about dresses is a joke.



Legitimate reasons exist for why a woman cannot wear heels. Getting your doctor to look at your feet and say it is not possible for you should be fairly simple: If you tell the doctor it hurts your feet (and.. a good thing to say would be it causes in-grown toe nails), then he or she will write you a note. The employer cannot override that doctor's note.



I'm not sure what qualifications the CEO's sister-in-law has. But I know those I have. You cannot be fired for something like this. They can reassign you. They can do many things. But you cannot be fired for not wearing heals as a programmer. I might want my employees to look nice, but women wearing heels doesn't fall into this category. I don't think they could make a good case that you are hurting business by wearing flats.



If you want to be smart, go get the doctor's note. Then, you likely cannot be moved from your current position because of it. That would be discrimination. An employer must make reasonable accommodations for employees with special needs. A deviation from the dress code would be similar to if I could not wear dress shoes to work because I have -- umm, an in-grown toenail. Most corporations would abide by that with no extra thought.



Even if I were a manager at Hooters, I would allow someone to go out of uniform for a medical reason, though I might have to reassign her/his duties for that time period.



If she is also HR, then she is bound by the labor laws of the US and the state. Requiring women to wear heels is a gray area. You might be able to do that... probably you can. But not if the person has a medical reason NOT to be able to comply.



Document everything that happens, and good luck to you.

Answer 3

Hey im like u,wear alitte makeup ur hair pushed back heels best for u,o no that heels and all we ball and on fridays show ur thuge